Valentine's Day Blog Party - Part Four 02/14/2012

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Welcome back to part four of our Valentine’s Day blog party. If you are just joining us, I am chatting with a group of awesome authors. Check back on today’s post, part one, for links and bios for all the authors. 

JoAnn, when did you first know you were in love with your husband?

JoAnn Carter: That's an interesting question. When my husband asked me to marry him, I actually talked to my father about this very thing. You see, I never had an earth shattering experience of being head over heels "in love." I wondered if I was missing something. Hollywood made it look so different. My father in his wisdom (and understanding of me and how I think) asked if I'd want to live my life without Glenn. I knew for sure that I didn't. My dad smiled and said, "Then he's the one for you."

Your father was definitely a very wise man—such sage advice. Elaine, can you share with us when you first knew you were in love with your husband?

Elaine Cantrell: The first time I met my husband it was like a lightning strike.  I was engaged to another guy at the time, but I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that my future was tied to the man I’d just met.  We were college students at the time, and I saw him on campus a few times during the school year.  Each time that sense of destiny grew stronger.  The following spring I broke my engagement, making sure a certain young man knew about it.  He asked me out, and we got married two years later.

So glad you followed your heart! Grace, do you fall head over heels in love or have your romances move more slowly emotionally?

Grace Greene: The romances in my stories have moved slowly on an emotional level, but usually following an initial instant attraction. The 'head over heels' feeling is often one-sided in the beginning.  I do believe in love at first sight and falling in love ‘head over heels’; however, instant passion requires nurturing or it won't flourish - and that's how true love grows in my novels. Sometimes new sweethearts rush the love expecting it to grow without effort, but love requires careful tending or it will burn itself out. You'll see all of these types of love in BEACH RENTAL. In KINCAID'S HOPE, there's a twist on that approach to love: feelings of love may diminish due to lack of care over time; however, true love - like that of soul mates - will never fully extinguish and the slow-burning embers will always be susceptible to re-igniting.

Love your description slow-burning embers…susceptible to re-igniting. Very true that love requires nurturing and people don’t always realize that when they enter into a relationship. Meg, any advice for newly married couples on how to handle the emotional ups and downs of marriage?

Meg Mims: Be flexible. Laugh at yourself first. Share something every day with each other. Remember “this too shall pass.” Also that children will change *everything* so give your marriage a foundation before starting a family.

True, flexibility is so vital to a strong marriage.

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Kendra, what was the most romantic thing one of your characters did for his/her love interest?

Kendra James: In Missing Clayton, to come out later this year with Black Opal Books, Steve stays with Jenny after she finds out her son is missing, and later in the book, he risks his life to save her from her child’s kidnapper. That real love.

Definitely real love! Elaine, what does love mean to you?

Elaine Cooper: Eros is the love in a romance novel—that wonderful first kiss that gives a promise of better things to come! Phileo is love that looks out for your brother or sister—a giving love to others. Agape is the pure love that Christ teaches us to give, whether or not others return it to us. Unconditional love that Christ taught us by example.

Couldn’t have explained it better! Lyn, when did you first know you were in love with your husband?

Lyn Sofras: Oh this is going to sound so corny!  We met when he was a junior hospital doctor at the hospital in which I also worked and though he professed ‘love at first sight’ for me, I have to be honest and say I wasn’t that interested in him at first…until one day, I happened to walk into one of the wards where he was attending to a patient.  I seemed suddenly to see him in a new light.  Yup, as I said, it’s as corny as it comes, but I fell in love with his bedside manner!

I can understand that. My husband “fell in love” with me first and I thought of him as just John, my good friend until one day the spark came for me when it hit me how much of a kind, genuine man he was. Thanks for sharing, Lyn.
JoAnn, have you ever given someone a selfless gift?

JoAnn Durgin: I have, but I’d like to tell you one that stands out in my mind that was given to me. It’s not a gift from my husband, and I’m sure he won’t mind I share it. I was dating a chemical engineering student and visited him on the Washington University campus outside St. Louis. There’s a tunnel in the middle of the campus, and it’s encouraged that the students paint graffiti on its walls. When I visited Mark, he seemed anxious and antsy and asked me to take a walk. I thought, “Oh, no, I’ve come all this way (by plane), and he’s breaking up with me right off the bat.” He walked me to the middle of campus and into the tunnel and breathed a huge sigh of relief as he pointed to the wall. “Good. It’s still here.” My conservative, quiet, thoughtful boyfriend had actually spray-painted on the wall, “JoAnn, I’m so glad you’re here.” I couldn’t believe he’d done it, and it touched me deeply.

Such a sweet, romantic thing for him to do! Can you share some more on what was the most valuable lesson you’ve learned in your lifetime about love?

JoAnn Durgin: It’s true that in order to receive love, you have to be able to give love.

Couldn’t agree more. Now to JoAnn Carter, has your love with your husband grown stronger with the years?

JoAnn Carter: When I look back over the whole of the 19 years I can say, yes! I love my husband more now than ever. However, there are ups and downs we all face. Some days are downright hard to the point where you're almost willing to throw in the towel. Honestly, without God, and the commitment I made to Glenn before Him, my life might look a lot different right now.

Agreed that’s what it’s all about—making a commitment to love and sticking to it even when times get tough.

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Elaine, has your love with your husband grown stronger with the years?

Elaine Cantrell: I think true love always grows stronger. I’ve been married for a long time now, and I can truthfully say I love him more today than I did on our wedding day. During the Christmas season he was working away from home, and one Friday we arranged to meet at a shopping mall to do some Christmas shopping. I saw him before he saw me.  My heart leaped. He turned and smiled at me, and all at once I felt like I’d already gotten my Christmas gift.

Heart leaping feelings for your significant other are so wonderful and special. Grace, do you believe in being married to your best friend for a love that will last? 

Grace Greene: Friendship is an important component to marriage and to love, but only in union that also has romantic love. Without the romantic love, there's a huge gap that will be filled, sooner or later, by someone who comes along outside of the 'friendly' marriage.

Very true—you need romance and that strong bond of friendship to make a marriage work. Meg, are you are you an emotional person or not so much…what about your significant other?

Meg Mims: I am easy to laugh, easy to lose my temper, a “git ‘er done” type. Hub is easy to laugh, but locks up anger and simmers it, plus he’s more of a perfectionist. We’ve had ups/down over 30 years, but we’re committed to each other. That’s the key.

Yes, commitment is key! Kendra, if you’re romantic and your significant other isn’t, how do you deal with that?

Kendra James: Hug the hell out of him. I love hugs and some people though they may pretend not to like them, learn to accept and enjoy them.

That’s been true for me. I’m not a huggy person, but my husband is and I, too, have learned to appreciate hugs. Elaine, when did you first know you were in love with your husband?

Elaine Cooper: It was quite nearly love at first sight! I obviously did not have the deep, abiding love that grows from a relationship, but there was an instant connection, as if I knew that he was “The One.” It still makes me smile after almost 37 years.

Finding the one is such a blessing to be cherished! Lynn, if you had any advice to give to a young married couple on keeping love alive in their marriage, what would you say?

Lyn Sofras: Be tolerant, respect each other and always communicate honestly and openly.  You are a united team against the world and nothing and no one should come between you.

That’s true. You need to be a team and not allow outside influences to penetrate the foundation and create cracks. JoAnn, what’s the best lesson on love you’ve taught your children?

JoAnn Durgin: Love the Lord your God, first and foremost. Always look to Him for the right “guidelines” in life and love. Don’t give love away, don’t offer it too freely, don’t withhold it when it’s appropriate, don’t squander it, but also don’t shy away from it. Love is one of the most precious gifts the Lord gives us. It’s priceless, so treat it like the treasure and special gift it is. Another one of the invaluable lessons is how you live your life. Jim and I have tried to model a Christian marriage, and I trust our children have learned from us – both from our mistakes as well as our triumphs. They’re good kids, and we’re so blessed.

Thank you for sharing such good advice! Ladies, I’m having a blast and can’t thank you enough for chatting with me today. Let’s take another break and chat with our guests.

What advice would you share with a newlywed couple on how to build a strong and healthy marriage?

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Valentine's Day Blog Party - Part Three 02/14/2012

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Is everyone ready…we’re back for part three of our party. Are you having fun yet?

Well start with JoAnn. Do you dislike Valentine’s Day or do you look forward to it?

JoAnn Carter: I look forward to it. I know this may sound weird, but it makes me think of my dad. You see, growing up, Valentine's Day was the one day that my father would give me something special. Nothing big, just a candy bar or something like that, but looking back, I can't tell you how much I treasure those moments. Dad was never one to say with words, "I love you", but his thoughtful act told me just that.

Don’t think that’s weird—it’s very sweet and such special memories of your father. Elaine, have you written and scenes set on Valentine’s Day? 

Elaine Cantrell: I wrote a short story set on Valentine’s Day a few years ago.  It’s called Pink Pearls and is available as a free read on my website.  Elaine's Website

Grace, has your love with your husband grown stronger with the years? 

Grace Greene: We've been married forever. You can’t do that without having good and bad times. Yes, our love is stronger now and so is our friendship. There's no one I'd rather hang out with and he's my biggest supporter.

I agree with those sentiments. My hubby is my best friend and also my biggest supporter too. Meg, in your books, what’s your favorite part of writing romantic scenes?

Meg Mims: The first meeting, where conflict ought to come into play – otherwise, it’s too much of a given that love is easy. Because it’s not!

Kendra, can you tell us when you experienced your first kiss?  

Kendra James: My first kiss was when I was fifteen from an older (twenty-one year old, college-cut, gorgeous hunk) man who worked where I did and drove a red convertible. It was one of those ‘your eyes meet across a crowded room’ things. He showed me the pent house boiler room where he did maintenance and gave me the kiss that tingled to my toes. He asked me out on a date but didn’t show. I was very young looking and I think he was afraid when he showed up at my door he would be met with a very irate father.  I went on holiday and when I came back he was no longer there. I still wonder about him and what might have been.

Very mysterious—I think I’d wonder too about what might have been. 

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Elaine, have you written any scenes set on Valentine’s Day?

Elaine Cooper: No, I write Historical Fiction set in Colonial America and that particular holiday was not a big one back then. No Hallmark stores in the village! LOL!

Does anyone know the origin of Valentine’s Day?

Lyn Sofras: I know Saint Valentine was a Christian martyr and the day commemorates him, but I think it’s also part of a Roman festival – a sort of mass blind date or dating lottery where shepherds and shepherdesses were matched at random to celebrate the two day festival.

Thanks, Lyn. So, JoAnn, if you had any advice to give to a young married couple on keeping love alive in their marriage, what would you say?

JoAnn Durgin: Two words: date night. Make time for each other on a regular basis. Don’t let anything keep you from going out, just the two of you. It’s so important. Go someplace romantic, too, and make it a real date. Talk to each other. Nothing is sadder than seeing all those old married couples sitting at a table together in a restaurant and not talking.

Great advice. My husband and I started having date nights once a month since we got married. It definitely helps to keep the spark alive. Now back to our other JoAnn. What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

JoAnn Carter: Valentine's Day means an opportunity to tell and express in creative ways, to the folks in my life, how much I love them.

If you could receive anything on Valentine’s Day, what would the best gift be?

JoAnn Carter: The best gift is simple really – spending time together.

I like that. I’m easy to please too. I don’t need gifts, just to spend time together. Elaine, if you could receive anything on Valentine’s Day, what would the best gift be? 

Elaine Cantrell: I’m assuming you mean a tangible gift, not something like world peace or feeding the hungry, so I’d love to get a blue diamond.  I didn’t know about blue diamonds until a few months ago, but they are beyond beautiful. If you’ve never seen one, go to a jewelry store and take a look. If the gift could be intangible, I’d wish that nobody ever went hungry or abused children and animals.

Hmm, I never saw a blue diamond before. I’ll have to add that to my wish list! Although, back to the intangible, thank you for sharing your wish. 

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Grace, is your husband or significant other a romantic and why do you think so? 

Grace Greene: My husband is a romantic. He always remembers important dates like birthdays, anniversaries and the day we met.

Sounds like my hubby. He’s good with remembering those special dates also. Looks like you have a special guy! Meg, can you describe the first date you ever went on?

Meg Mims: The first “official” date I had with my husband – Star Wars. We were so lost in the story, we kind of lost track of “it’s a date, we should whisper/hold hands, etc.” LOL

Kendra, are you a romantic and why or why not? 

Kendra James: Of course. I’m still waiting for another soul mate to come in to my life and sweep me off my feet. He will be a gourmet cook, with a great sense of humor, and we will spend time reading and exploring the globe, plus other things.

I love your soul mate’s characteristics…they sound nice! Elaine, what does Valentine’s Day mean to you?

Elaine Cooper: It means a day to remind EVERYONE how much I love them— from my Mom to my grandbabies to my husband!

Great perspective! Lyn, what does love mean to you?

Lyn Sofras: Love is an emotion so physical and powerful that it can be quite painful. It consumes your every waking moment so that you actually feel your sole existence is for one person only, while the rest of life fades around you in a gentle blur. You know your life has been made indescribably richer when you have it and that, should it be taken from you, existence will be meaningless. Someone described it as “friendship set on fire”, which I quite like. And like a good fire, the flames should settle to warm and satisfying glowing embers as it mellows.

Absolutely love that description: friendship set on fire! JoAnn, how did you meet your significant other?

JoAnn Durgin: On a blind date, believe it or not. Jim was attending Dallas Seminary at the time, and (in a very long but wonderful story), we met through mutual friends. I learned later that the couple who introduced us (he went to Seminary with Jim) actually prayed for the “right guy” for me, and they both came up Jim! He’d sworn off blind dates a few weeks before after a date with a runner-up to Miss Texas. Wow, talk about intimidation. But we hit it off immediately, and talked for hours on end that night. Even though there was a strong mutual attraction, we were friends first for quite a while, and that’s always a very good way to start a lasting love relationship.

Totally agree…being friends first makes for a strong and lasting foundation. My hubby was my good friend for a few years before we started dating. Time for another break…let’s chat with our guests.

What do you all think about the meaning of true love? Don’t forget to comment to be entered to win in the giveaway!

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Valentine's Day Blog Party - Part Two 02/14/2012

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Well, we are back for part two of our Valentine's Day Blog party. Thanks again for coming back to join in the fun! 

We have three JoAnn’s here at this party, so let’s get the discussion started with JoAnn Carter. Did you ever plan a special Valentine’s Date for your significant other?

JoAnn Carter: This wasn't a special "date" but rather something fun I did for my husband one Valentine's day... I snuck into his office at work after hours and plastered it with "I love you" notes, hearts, candies, and love little gifts. It not only made him smile, but I really enjoyed doing for him.

Very sweet, sounds like something I would have done. We have two Elaine’s among us as well. Elaine Cantrell, what was your favorite Valentine’s Day ever?

Elaine Cantrell: It happened not long after we got married.  I was in a fever of impatience to get downtown, I can’t remember why, but my husband kept procrastinating.  Finally, I got impatient so we left to do whatever it was.  When we got back, I had a beautiful, huge pot of daffodils sitting on the porch.  He had ordered them for me and wanted me to be there to get them.  I felt so bad that I’d insisted on leaving, but I made it up to him by cooking him a lovely Valentine dinner.

How nice…glad you have a romantic hubby! Let’s turn to the topic of love. Grace, what does love mean to you? 

Grace Greene: That is the exact question that Michael asks Beth in KINCAID'S HOPE. People see love in different ways and apply it differently. Love is that heady, heart-pumping feeling - the all-consuming emotional and physical sensation. Love is the comfort and camaraderie of friendship that trusts, forgives and accepts each other despite flaws. Love is what makes us want to rise about our flaws. Romantic love should be all of that. For some, love is an unsatisfying obligation - especially if the love is not returned. For others, love is terrifying. It is an exposure of their weakness and vulnerability as they open themselves to potential hurt. Or fear that they will fail to keep the commitment.

Great answer. Meg, if you had any advice to give to a young married couple on keeping love alive in their marriage, what would you say?

Meg Mims: LAUGH together. It’s far more important than anything else.

So very true. Laughter is the best medicine and can help you through many bumps along the way. Kendra, what does love mean to you?

Kendra James: Spiritual love of people, caring for all mankind, forgiveness, being nonjudgmental, accepting of differences, wanting to protect our loved ones. And one can’t discount lust and having a man in your life that as the saying goes: ‘Your eyes meet across a crowded room.”

Thank you for sharing, Kendra.

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So Elaine Cooper, what was your favorite Valentine’s Day ever?

Elaine Cooper: I was working as a nurse and my husband had hired a trio of singers to come and sing two love songs to me at work. It was SO romantic. I felt SO loved. 

Yes, that definitely qualifies as romantic. He’s a keeper! Lyn, what was your favorite Valentine’s Day ever?

Lyn Sofras: I think it has to be when I was just 17 and received 17 Valentine cards – for eight of which I never discovered the senders, but that made me feel very special.  I did receive more cards than that when I was 20, but the majority of those came from one person!  As nice as that was, it just wasn’t quite the same as having eight mystery admirers!

Eight mystery admirers…sounds like the makings of a great romance novel! Very mysterious, yet romantic at the same time. JoAnn, what was your favorite Valentine’s Day ever?

JoAnn Durgin: Hands down, the Valentine’s Day I got engaged on the beach in Monterey, CA. We’d had lunch at the famous Pebble Beach Country Club overlooking the bay with my boss and his wife (they were married there), and it was one of the most perfect days of my life.

Sounds like you had a very beautiful, memorable day and start to your lives together. JoAnn, I just have to ask when did you first know you were in love with your husband?

JoAnn Durgin: When I pushed him aside for a few months and knew he was leaving Dallas. In a string of events that only the Lord could orchestrate, He showed us we belonged together. It’s truly an amazing story, and one I need to fictionalize based on true events one of these days. It involves a job loss, a Caribbean cruise, a surgery, and a cross-country move.

Yes, I hope one day you do fictionalize your love story! Lyn, have you seen any Valentine’s Day movies…any favorites?

Lyn Sofras: Yes lots, but the film that really sticks in my mind isn’t a Valentine’s Day movie at all.  It’s that scene towards the end of ‘Sleepless in Seattle’ where Annie sees the red heart on the side of the Empire State Building and knows it’s a sign to follow her own heart.  And of course, when she gets there…well, everyone knows that movie!

Love that movie!

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Elaine, have you seen any Valentine’s Day movies…any favorites?

Elaine Cooper: I love the one where Christian Slater is the flower delivery guy on Valentine’s Day. I don’t remember the details but it was purely fun and cute!

Yes, very romantic. I saw that one…I think it was called Bed of Roses. Kendra, what’s the best lesson on love you’ve taught your children, or grandchildren or nieces and nephews?   

Kendra James: I think respect, and acceptance of all people no matter their religion, race or sexual preference. I grew up in a family that liked discussions bordering on arguments. My dad would say something to set my mother off and sit back and enjoy the results. I hated the arguing and worked hard to keep that out of my life when I married and had children. I’m pleased to say that my children have grown to be kind, considerate, respectful adults. My granddaughter, at nine, is following that trend. She is a very sweet girl who can be counted on to draw out the loners wherever she goes.

Thank you for sharing that. I know the feeling and have been around family members in my own life who enjoy instigating fights—not very pleasant. It’s great that you took a different, more loving route with your family. Meg, do you enjoy watching chick flicks / romantic comedies and dramas?

Meg Mims: YES, I do – Leap Year, Hope Floats, While You Were Sleeping are a few modern examples, plus Bringing Up Baby, Arsenic & Old Lace, Father Goose, Operation Petticoat, The Philadelphia Story, Pat & Mike, Sabrina, even The African Queen. I’m a sucker for unusual matches – people you’d never think would get together!

Loved Leap Year and Hope Floats. Grace, what was the most valuable lesson you’ve learned in your lifetime about love? 

Grace Greene: Love must come with a healthy ability to forgive. People are too imperfect to be able to have a lasting relationship without forgiveness.

How very true! If we aren’t able to forgive, we’re the only one living in a prison, not the person we won’t forgive. Elaine, as a child, did you give out Valentine’s to your friends?

Elaine Cantrell: I sure did. Our teachers had us bring shoe boxes to school, and we decorated them with paper doily’s, red construction paper hearts, cutouts from old valentines, and glitter. Then, on Valentine’s Day we put valentines for our classmates in the boxes.

Sounds like a very happy memory! JoAnn, what was the most selfless gift a person has ever given you because of love?

JoAnn Durgin: When Jim and I went to pick up my engagement ring at a store in California, we were overwhelmed in the most wonderful way imaginable. Let me tell you why. He’d picked out the ring in a store in California, but wanted me to go along in case I wanted something else. Of course, I wanted the one he picked out and wouldn’t think of looking at another ring. While at the store, when Jim pulled out his wallet to pay the balance, the clerk told him it was paid for – in full. He’d only told a couple of people where we got it, and we have our suspicions, but both of those individuals have now passed into glory. So, to this day, we don’t know the identity of our anonymous benefactor. It remains one of the most selfless gestures I’ve ever experienced in my life.

Getting goose bumps just hearing that story! How very special and such a wonderful reminder every time you look at your ring! Well, ladies, let’s take a little break and chat with all of our visitors.
 
Hope everyone can join in the conversation. Don’t forget, we have book giveaways today!

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